Baby of Mine

Babies, one of Gods greater gifts! Sure, it takes a lot of hard work and pain to get them here, but they are so worth it. I personally do not have children, as I am 14 years old. But I have always loved children! I suppose it comes from having two little brothers and spending a great amount of time helping to raise them.
As a lot of girls my age, I do want children some day. And I know what I shall name them! I want two twin girls (I know, I know, 'Your just a kid! Your gonna change your mind when you actually grow up and deal with them!') named Jasmine Alain Garcia _____ and Juliet Elizabeth Lilieth ____. (The blanks are, of course, in place of the last names). Yes, my future children will have 2 middles names. I just really like the sound of them.
Bab's Breath, the flower to the left, is a symbol of everlasting love. It is a symbol of the psychiatric connection between a new bother and her new born child/children. (The flower for the connection between a mother and her unborn child is different, and a blog post for another day.) Baby's breath can be placed next to a burning virgin white candle for ease of labor and a healthy birth. (But the baby's breath should NOT be burned! Burning baby's breath can signify early death to newborns and extremely hard labor!) For this particular spell, place a virgin white candle on silver candle dish (real silver must be used, or something plain and white or silver looking. Clear glass can be used, but real silver is more powerful). Dress the candle with oil, in the proper manner (http://www.witchway.net/ritual/candle.html). (I find carrot and lavender oil used together to be recommended, but any oil will do.) Lightly carve your child's/childrens' initials into the candle stick (real silver intensifies magick, keep this in mind). Bath the babies breath in crystal clear water (water that has been bathed in moon light for an entire lunar cycle is most powerful, but not necessary), emerging it completely and swirling it around the bowl (light coloured wood desirable) counter clockwise 9 times. Place the baby's breath on the dish with the candle. Light the candle wick and let it burn all the way down. It is advised that the candle be watched in some fashion to be sure the baby's breath doesn't catch fire nor the candle tip over, but it is your choice.
Another spell, not involving candles, that you can do to protect your newborn child involves blending various oils for a desired affect. I recommend blending equal amounts of bay oil, black pepper oil, and cedar wood oil in a light wood bowl, 9 times counter clockwise. With the tips of the index and middle finger, dab a substantial amount at the wrists, between the brows, and over the chest of the young child. That particular oil blend is for protection against all negative energy forms, increased alertness and courage, and attraction of power pride beauty strength and prosperity. Different oils can be used, but be sure you know what the oils are meant to do (http://daughterofthemoon.wordpress.com/2008/07/13/essential-oilsmeanings-and-uses/). While blending and applying, will what you want to happen. The more will power, concentration, and mental visualization you use, the more powerful the spell. This spell is recommend to be done while the child is sleeping, and is more powerful if done by the mother or the mothering figure. (I used this spell on my brother when he was 3, and I do not know what the health risks of performing this on a newborn or infant would be. I would ask your doctor what harm these oils might do to a baby. A babies skin and over all healthy is very fragile, so take precautions, please!)
The same spell can be performed on a pregnant woman, for the benefit of the unborn child, with slight variations. Chose three oils (I didn't mention above, but three is ideal. Too many and the signals could get confused), and make sure you know what they are meant to do. Place a drop or two of one oil on your index finger, a drop or two of another oil on your middle finger, and so on. Do not blend the oils before hand. Place the finger tips on the belly of the pregnant woman, and move your hands 6 times in a counter clockwise motion to blend the oils. During the whole process, chant in your head (or out loud if you choose) what the desired result is. (For example, using bay, camphor, and citrus:"protection, harmony, psychic power...protection, harmony, psychic power...", you see my point? You want to chant the saying 6 times in time with the blending of oils). Remember, the more will power, concentration, and mental visualization used, the more powerful the spell. This spell is most powerful if done by the pregnant woman herself, or the unborn babies father.
One of the most important things to remember in performing Magick, is to follow your instincts. That gut feeling you get, yeah it's important. Listen to it! If you reach for citrus oil at the store, and your gut tells you to go for bay, guess what you should get? Yep, that's right, bay. The most pure and powerful form of Magick is in the soul, and your soul is where your instincts come from. So listen to your instincts, they tend to be right. (Truly, the only time my instincts have stirred me wrong would be if I was sick, distracted, or confused instincts with greed.)

Wearing baby's breath in the hair or near the heart sends positive energy to the wearers child/children, especially if the child/children is/are on the wearers mind.

Your Soal and Mine

Your soul is perfect, pure, and untainted. Inside you is the angel you will become when you die. I don't believe that any one person is bad, evil, or deserves to go to a "hell". I don't believe there is a hell. In the Bible it states that God made us in his immage. Okay, great, so why aren't we all sitting around a breakfast table in heaven listening to harp music and being, well...perfect? After all, God is perfect, right? Yes. So if we are made in his immage, why are we not perfect? Why does the Bible stress the point of our inability to be perfect here in Earth so much? It's becouse of the Devil's involvement. The Devil is a fallen angel. It is my theory that he was not the first fallen angel. I think God's angels started to loose value in there perfect immortality. They stopped being grateful for it, grew bored, and started messing around. Well, that certaintly couldn't keep happening! So God, being the all powerful God that he is, simply destroyed all the fallen Angels. That's not cruel, it makes sense. It's like qurenting flu patients from healthy patients so it doesn't spread. But it did spread. So God had a better idea. He sent one of the fallen Angels, Satin, to a place under that Earth, a place opposite to Heaven. Than God made the Earth, and sent all the good angels down to earth. He created bodies for them, and allowed Earth to be a sort of middle ground between Heaven and Earth. There, Satin and his demons could make bad things happen and screw with the humans. God would always make sure that life was balanced out, otherwise he would be being cruel unstead of teaching a lesson.
Every Bible story tells us the same thing, that when bad things happen it's becouse of Satin. You stopped listening to God and listened to Satin. These stories build up a hatred to Satin and a never ending love to God, while also building up the strength in your faith. These stories also tell you theres a reason for everything. Theres a greater picture we all fall into. That's true. It is my theory that we are all on Earth to both learn a lesson and complete our mission. The mission we must complete in order to teach the lesson to others. The lesson is so that when we are accepted back into heaven, we are never tempted to become fallen angels.
Perhaps every thousand years or so God makes us repeat our lesson, so that it sticks in our minds. We may be perfect, we may have been made in Gods immage, but the Bible makes it clear that there is a reason why he is God and we are the Angels. He teaches, loves, takes care of, and heards us.
As to hell? Well, there can't be one. To have a hell would mean that God made an evil human. To have a truely evil human, you would have to have a truely evil Angel. Why would God send a fallen Angel down to Earth? He wouldn't. The point of Earth, in my theory, is that this is our lesson to learn. Teenagers a sent to highschool, most of them dislike it, but when they graduate they have learned many things. (Yes, even the slackers. No matter how immune you think you are to learning, it's still shoved inside your skull every single day. Sometimes you just don't notice it.)
But what if the Angel falls while on Earth? Can't happen. God balances all things. Life and Death, happiness and sorrow, good and bad, and everything in your soul. There is no truely bad person on Earth. Satin is meant to make us do bad things, and yes we can try to ignore him and focus on God. But we will always sin and do bad things. Illness is bad, and Satin gives it to us. The mentaly ill sociopath psychotic killer has done many many bad things. A lot of people, my close friends included, would say that that person is most certaintly going to hell. Well, no. Satin made the person do those things, and God allowed it becouse it had to happen. For everone to learn there lesson on Earth, bad things must happen. For bad things to happen, peoples must do bad things. But there are no bad people.
Remember back when I said everyone has a mission? And that you have to accomplish it? Well, that psychotic killer I was mentioning, he completed his mission. His mission was to be a psychotic serial killer and kill a lot of people (in my example). The mission doesn't allways apear to be fair or right or good, but it still has to be done. And most of the time, the people who's mission it is to do bad things, don't know there doing it. Or don't know it's wrong. Or...well, you get my point. They didn't just wake up one morning and decide it was there job to kill. They just did it.
What about dying babies and children? They didn't do anything? Sure they did. They died. If you give birth to a child and it dies in a matter of seconds, than there mission was most likely to die. Otherwise, God wouldn't have allowed them to die.
"How can there be a perfect heaven? My idea of perfect is different from yours!" No it's not. Here on Earth you can't immagine there being one place where everyone thinks it's perfect. But than again, you don't know what your true soul is like. I like mint chocolate ice cream, horror movies, and snuggling up with my (at the moment non existant...) boyfriend. My friend Shayne likes rasberry cheesecake falvoured ice cream, sappy chick flicks, and having an inteligent convirsation with (my ex boyfriend...) her boyfriend. How can she and I posably agree on whats perfect? Well, when we die and go to heaven, I guess we will see.
Suicide. I believe it is horrible and sad and I will always try to pervent it. My friend Jason has tried it, I have tried it, and my baby brother has. Lets face it, this world is hard! It's sad and cruel and sometimes just to much to handle! But don't give it up. God won't let you die until your mission is completed. Therefore, I will always try to pervent someone from killing themselves (I wouldn't be able to NOT help). If it is your mission to committe suicide, I will (and realy, EVERYBODY should) try to stop you. It it is your mission, God will make it happen. But I'm not going to play God and try to judge if I should leave it be or not. It's not my place to decide if someone needs helping or not. It's just my job to help.
Your soul is a wonderful, perfect thing that will one day be exepted into Heaven. Dying isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it isn't natural. It's God saying you did your part. Heaven is the reward! I don't cry when people I know die, I didn't cry when my dad died. I was happy! And yes, people avoid me and call me crazy when I tell them I'm happy when people die. But it's true! They completed there mission and now get to go Home! How could I be sad about that?

Heart Code

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvO493hJ_78
I am a giver, and always have been. I can honestly say I would risk my own life, without hesitation, to save a stranger. I can say this because I have done it. I was at the beach (specifics left out do to rights of people involved) on one instance. The palm trees and grass covered sand dunes across from the camper my family and I were staying in caught on fire. It was raging and catching by the time we were woken up, at 5 in the morning. In my families haste to get away from the fire, they didn't notice the small child walking towards the flames. (Backround info: we were staying in a large campground. The child must have been from one of the other camper families, perhaps forgotten in the haste?) The child, male, couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old, and very obviously was enthralled by the lights. Without hesitation, I ran to the child, picked him up, and starting running in the opposite direction. For me to get that close to the flames was incredibly dangerous, and it made me very sick. (I should have gone to the hospital, but...I don't like hospitals and modern medicine) I have asthma and my PTSD is directly linked to fire and smoke (and yes, I did have a nervous breakdown and pass out a few hours later). To get the child, I breathed in a lot of smoke. I managed to catch up to my family, who were all standing a safe distance from the flames, before I dropped the child and collapsed. I couldn't breath, my vision was swimming, and I felt cold all over. I know it must have done something to my lungs or something, but I wouldn't let the paramedics touch me. The child was unharmed, thank God! He fell asleep while I was carrying him away from the flames, and didn't seem upset by anything when he was woken up.
Why am I telling you this, you ask? It isn't so I can look like a heroin, because I am not. I don't have an ounce of courage in me. And once I was certain the child was going to be okay, I left him with the paramedics and bolted. I didn't want the gratitude that would come when the mother would see me. When I see someone who is in distress, pain, sickness, ANYTHING negative, I have to help. I absolutely have no physical or mental choice, it is my instinct. I spend my days counseling my friends and family, studying psychology on my own (I actually plan to receive my PhD in Social Psychology, though I have yet to decide what I will do with it), and making sure I know anything that could help me help someone else. I don't hold much value for my own life, though I am most certainly not depressed. I simply hold a rather unhealthy level of obsession in helping all other living creatures.
A common question that I am asked: if a stranger and your brother were both drowning, who would I save? Well, that's easy. I would try to save both, starting first with whoever my instincts told me to save (which wouldn't necessarily be my brother). And even if it looked like I couldn't save the other person, or I would drown if I tried, I would still try. I can't swim, so most likely I would die trying to save the first person. But I would rather die trying (see that nice little reference back to the link? Yeah, I know, genius! Ha-ha) than live knowing I chose my life over another human beings.
How can I do this, you ask? Easy. I believe every person is alive for a reason. We have a mission here that we must accomplish. I believe my mission is to help people. I love to do it, I feel a certain need to do it, and I feel like I did something right when I try to do all I can for everyone. I could be wrong, but why be negative? I love helping people, and I will continue risking it all to complete this mission. If I die trying to save someone else, than I died completing my mission. If I chose my life, sanity, and health over theirs, than I am telling God I have not learned my lesson on Earth yet and am not ready to be excepted into his Home.
What do I mean, you ask? Whats my point? Your mission is the key. My friend Jason asks me repeatedly, "why am I not happy?", and I always tell him the same thing, "your not happy because your not on the right track". He hasn't realized his reason for being here, he isn't doing what he is supposed to do to fulfill his mission, something in his life if just off. The easiest way to fix this? Read the Bible, do yoga, go sit on a mountain at night, stare up at the stars, pray, paint, write in a journal, there are countless ways to learn what your purpose is. The question is already answered in your heart, you just have to learn to listen. And the only way to do that is to do things that delve deep into your soul and reveal who you really are.
If you feel like your in a rut, down on luck, or nothing seems to go good for you, listen to what I am telling you. You must find your purpose! Once you do that, all you have to do is do it! My purpose is helping others, so I do that all the time. I make it my life. If you do that, if you bring that one little foot back onto the right track, the rest of you will follow. You will see yourself beginning to realize things about yourself that you didn't know before. I realized my purpose in life, I made it my life, and I am happy! I realized the religion for me, I realized that I am a vegan at heart, I started taking better care of myself, and the world just looks so much brighter and happier than it used to! I have the energy and the spunk to do what I couldn't before, and all because I found my calling.

A Pink Carnation

A pink carnation, the symble for a mother's undying love. A mother's love is one that no other human being that can give, for they will never have the connection you have with your mother. I know, I know; "But I don't have a mom!" It doesn't matter. The connection you have is in your blood and in your soal, and no foster/step/gaurdian/or -inlaw can duplicate it. I don't have a great mom either. I live with my grandparents. My mother was a druggy and an alcoholic; she did a lot of bad things. I am the eldest of her three children (my brothers: Edward 13 and Joseph 10), and therefore felt it was my job to protect her name. My aunt and grandparents, and truely anyone that knew her, had SUCH a tendincy to speak badly of her. I never could understand why they would speak of her this way, there own blood. I felt sorry for her. I felt that, in some way, she had to be doing something good.
When I turned 13 and she sent a card saying "Happy 10th Birthday" a month late, I gave up on her. I finaly saw the worthless druggy/alcoholic waste of space that everyone else saw. I refused to speak to her or about her, I refused to acknolodge her existance, I basicly disowned her as my mother and a fellow human being. I truely hated her.
But than she got in a realy bad car accident. She was in a car with a man (the driver) and another AA friend. They had just gotten back from getting smoothies.Another car rammed into them. The driver didn't get a scratch on him, but was either going into shock or was just plain a coward becouse he wouldn't help my mom and her friend. The friend was sitting in front of my mom, and she was going into a seizure. My mom was a former nurse, so she knew what to do. She did she had been trained to do, probably saving the womens life. All the while, my mom was loosing a lot of blood. She almost died of blood loss by the time the rescue people got there. They had to cut her and the friend out of the car, but the driver walked out. This made me very mad, becouse they soon after found out he was drunk.While my mom was in the hospital, she refused all pain medication. She knew she would get hooked, so she didn't want any. She was lying on her death bed, and still stayed strong, resisting the pain.She almost died.
I realized than that I could never run out of second chances. I could never give up on her, or anyone else. I could never stop giving away my love, for that was the ultimate crime. My mother has taught me many things by doing all those bad things:
*LOVE everyone and everything, no matter what happens
*DRUGS don't hurt just you, they hurt the people that have to watch you die slowly
*PUSH ON through life, couse you can survive anything
*YOU are not better than ANYONE else, and EVERYONE is worth your help
*BAD things happen, focussing on them will restrain you from seeing the GOOD things
*GOD doesn't deserve your blame, YOU screwed up. Fix it yourself.
This is a poem my mom wrote that I found today:

THIS IS ME: A Rewinding Tape

This is me too many things I’ve

                seen,

For a time from drugs and alcohol

                I was clean.

Right now I feel like a tornado that

                Destroys everything in its path,

Most people have never felt my

                Wrath.

I can be a force to be reckoned

                With,

Showing fake emotions that are

                So stiff.

Life isn’t fun my heart is damaged

                Beyond repair,

Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

Loosing everything doesn’t really

                Matter at all,

What you ask created my downward

                Fall.

Three children I love so dear,

Hurting them was my greatest

                Fear.

No one can save me I just don’t

                Think so,

Too far gone my demons they do

                Not know.

Time is very precious no one can

                Seem to spare,

True friends always at your side

                Are rare.

Looking at the sky I wonder

                When will it all end,

Does God know will an angel

                For me he send?

Why do people say they understand,

Their words are just plain bland.

How can you know what I’m

                Going through,

I am me not you.

Can’t you see I’m slowly dying

                Inside,

Begging God for a way out many

                Times I’ve cried.

It’s too late for me there’s no

                Escape,

Memories haunt me everyday like

                A rewinding tape.

“Dedicated to: my family who thought I was an unfit Mother”