What Am I?

--Yeah, I already posted this once...like, months ago. But I revised it, and wanted it to be at the top so people would read the new version :) I have to keep revising this, because what I believe keeps changing. As I grow, so does my understanding of the world--

I am a Wiccan, and I am proud of it!
I was raised in a Baptist home, learning and living the word of God. I started reading about the Wicca 2 years ago, and something about it seemed...right.

I believe there is a supreme God and that he sent down Jesus as a messenger. I believe the Bible is full of made up stories, meant to be taken as lessons, not as actual occurrences. I believe nature should be protected, and that it is in itself magickal.
Yes, I believe in magick. If you ask, and you deserve, you will be given. Natural health (physical and mental) remedies do work, on a medical level. Preforming spells and such bring a sort of peace to me, and they are used to bring good things to the world. Black magick has nothing to do with Wicca.

My Goddess (or God. Truly, I use them interchangably. Who is to say what sex he is?) is Libra, the Goddess of Balance. I believe everything is balanced. EVERYTHING. Nothing disturbs this balance. For everything good you see, there is something bad. For everything bad you see, there is something good. For every bad thing you do, you are punished and must to something good to makeup for it and restore balance inside you. For every good thing you do you are rewarded, and makes up for bad things you have done/inevitably will do. Light and Darkness aren't at war with one another. They are Sisters, both working in perfect harmony to keep our world working. Notice, Libra's simble is the scales. The world, and our lives, is balanced, like a set of scales. Too much good, and we tip over. Too much bad and we tip over. There must always be balance, or there is only chaos.

All people are equal; all people are equally good and bad. All people are essentially good, only influenced by the temptation of the devil. The only time we can be ourselves and be the basically good people we are is when admitted into heaven. I don't believe in a hell. If we are all made in God's image, why would we be evil? Why would God make a being that is all evil? No. We are balanced on earth. The only way Earth and Life can work is if there is Balance. When we die, we leave Earth and go somewhere else. We go to Heaven, where there doesn't need to be balance for it to work. There is only good. That is why our souls are perfect and pure. No one can ever taint his soul. If you do something bad, you are punished on Earth. Simple as that.

So, why aren't we all sitting around a table in Heaven right now? Why must we live on Earth before we go to Heaven? Well...ask God. I haven't died yet, so I don't know all the answers.

It is my theory that we are all on Earth to both learn a lesson and complete our mission. The mission we must complete in order to teach the lesson to others. The lesson is perhaps simply so that we become wiser.

So, if we are perfect, why does there need the be a God? Well, someone has to be in charge.

Your soul is a wonderful, perfect thing that will one day be accepted into Heaven. Dying isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it is natural. It's God saying you did your part. Heaven is the reward! I don't cry when people I know die, I didn't cry when my dad died. I was happy! And yes, people avoid me and call me crazy when I tell them I'm happy when people die. But it's true! They completed their mission and now get to go Home! How could I be sad about that? Sure, I don't get to see them anymore. But I will some day.

I am proud to be considered a Wiccan and a Pagan!  I don't care what anyone else believes. As long as your happy, believe what you will. I'm not out to convert people to what I believe, and I certainly don't wish to be converted to another religion.

Be proud in what you believe.

Falling Into Me

I am falling, and there’s no one to save me.

The thrill seeking reader will read this as if I’m in danger. The romantic reader will read this as if I have found new love. Well, this is neither of those things.

I am falling, and there’s no one to save me; I don’t want to be saved.

This isn’t a thriller, romance, horror, fiction, historic fiction, or…well, anything like that. This is simply a plain and simple religious nut, writing about just how nutty she is becoming.

I am falling, and there’s no one to save me; I don’t want to be saved. I’m so happy with who I’m becoming!

Just what is it I’m becoming? I don’t know. I guess I will find out when I get there.

What am I now? Well…I’m nothing, and I’m everything.

I’m a Wiccan, through and through. I am everything, for I am Wiccan. Libra is everything thing, and so I am everything. I am nothing, for I am just one other soul working to learn her lessons in life; I will die, and I will be gone. For this, I am nothing, and yet, I am everything. I don’t care what anyone thinks about that. It is who I am; it is my path in life. My life is lit by the Goddess inside me.

God…Goddess…I use them interchangeably. I am monotheistic, I just don’t place sex on my God; he is neither. He is the ultimate Soul; he is the Balance by which all things are kept together, he just is.

When people ask me who I worship, I tell them “the male persona of the personified Libra”. Try saying that five times fast… It’s the easiest way to try to describe what I believe to an outsider. Truly, I just believe what I see. I see balance everywhere. I see Libra everywhere. (Libra is Balance, by the way). I don’t really know what to say when it comes to worship. Libra is my God, and I am devoted to what I believe and what I am meant to be doing in my life. But…worship? That sounds far too Christian. Christian’s follow a strict set of rules that shut them out from their Home and their God; they portray their God as being petty and…I just don’t like it. I’m not perfect, and I don’t want to have to try to be. I just want to be me. Wicca lets me be me.

Honestly…that’s all I want.

Wicca isn't just a religion. It's a way of thinking, and a way of life. Wicca is a very harmonious, peaceful, and balanced way of thinking and living. It allows free thinking and free living. Wiccans do not believe they will be sent to a fiery hell if they have sex before marriage (or some other "sin"). It is up to the Wiccan to decide if it is morally wrong or not. And if she or he has hurt someone, then they will be duly punished in life. Not death.

Wicca incorporated a lot of appreciation towards the wonders of nature, such as animals, flowers, and etc. People who follow the Wiccan way also learn the knowledge of witchcraft, and use it in a practical way. Witchcraft is about healing, and bringing love, happiness, and peace to the world.

Not so long ago, Wiccans were hunted and persecuted by the Church, as part of making Christianity more popular. Wicca was subjected as the work of Satan by the Church, to keep people away from it. They placed the evil, mysterious, and generally worthy of wariness archetype upon witches and Wiccans (and really, and other Pagan). They did this in an attempt to convert everyone to their own religion.

Wicca is not about teaching people the truth. It's about finding your own truth, and allowing other's to find what makes them happy. It doesn't matter who's right, all that matters is that your happy in what you believe.

I'm proud to call myself a Wiccan, and a Pagan. I'm very proud! :)

Blessed Be

~Ink~

Witch's Circle

A Witch's Circle is used for rituals and ceremonies, or to commemorate something; a holiday, a celebration, and death or birth, etc. It can be done by one's self, or as a group/coven. This is how you do it:

First, the placing of the candles: Yellow (for Wind) to the bottom right; Red (for Fire) to the bottom left; Green (for Earth) to the top right; Blue (for Water) to the top left; and Purple (for Spirit) in the center.

Candles are lit in each of the five directions as the element is called. The following colours are used for the candles” Air-yellow, Fire-red, Water-blue, Earth-green, and Spirit-purple.

Begin in the East and call forth Air. Hold a yellow candle, face the east, and repeat the following “Air, of the subtle and the strong. Air, of the wind and the gale. Air, I call you to this Witch’s Circle!” Then light the candle. Place it on the table that is holding the other candles, back in it's place.

Repeat the process with each candle, moving clock-wise (or deosil) around the circle.

•       Air-East: “Air, of the subtle and the strong. Air, of the wind and the gale. Air, I call you to this Witch’s Circle!”
•        Fire-South: “Fire, of the warm and wild. Fire, of the spark and the blaze. Fire, I call you to this Witch’s Circle!”
•         Water-West: “Water, of the flowing and the fast. Water, of the drop and the flood. Water, I call you to this Witch’s Circle!”
•        Earth-North: “Earth, of the fresh and new. Earth, of the dirt and the life. Earth, I call you to this Witch’s Circle!”
•        Spirit-Middle “Spirit, of the Balance of Life and Death. Spirit, of the center Force. Spirit, I call you forth to complete this Witch’s Circle!”

To close the circle, thank each of the elements in turn as you move counterclockwise around the circle, ending where you began in the east with the element air.

•          Spirit: “Spirit, I thank you, for lending your Force.”
•         Earth: “Earth, I thank you, for lending your Strength”
•         Water: “Water, I thank you, for lending your Rhythm.”
•         Fire: “Fire, I thank you, for lending your Energy”
•         Air: “Air, I thank you, for lending your Purity”

It is important to remember to maintain a focused mind and positive thoughts during the Witch’s Circle casting and closing, and to ground yourself with food, drink, and relaxation afterwards.

Blessed Be,

~Ink~ 

Accept Me

A few months ago, I had a little issue with one of my Christian friends when I converted. It was easily resolved, and we speak now :) So I guess you could say this is really the first time I have had a real issue with people not accepting me due to my religion. Which is kinda surprising, considering where I live (everyone around here is Christian, or at least pretends to be).
Well, I had this teacher. She was such an epic teacher, too! And she moved away, to get a higher degree, but we stayed connected through facebook. Well, I'm going to europe this Summer with People2People (EPICLY PSYCHED ABOUT THIS!!!). To pass my interview, I need three recomendation letters, two of which have to be from teachers. So, I decided to fax her the letter thingy and get her to fill it out. She said that would be fine, but...then never responded. Until last night.
I was at a party with my best friends, and I got her facebook message on my phone. She said she gave me her dad's fax number, sense she didn't have one. He got the fax okay, but she couldn't write the letter cause he ripped it up. She was talking to him about me while they were waiting for me to send it, and she happened to mention that I'm a Wiccan. She said I was the first she had taught. He is a Christian minister...
He ripped up my letter. Said he didn't want my "filthy Wiccan BS contaminating his office".
Ya, I burst into tears when I read that. She told me I could just snail mail it to her...but I kinda don't want to. I mean, I know there's gonna be close-minded, judgmental people in the world. I just didn't expect that kinda pain to be delivered by my teacher! *sigh* sadness :(

--Ink--

What Am I?

I am a Wiccan, and I am proud of it!
I was raised in a Baptist home, learning and living the word of God. I started reading about the Wicca 2 years ago, and something about it seemed...right.

I believe there is a supreme God and that he sent down Jesus as a messenger. I believe the Bible is full of made up stories, meant to be taken as lessons, not as actual occurrences. I believe nature should be protected, and that it is in itself magickal.
Yes, I believe in magick. If you ask, and you deserve, you will be given. Natural health (physical and mental) remedies do work, on a medical level. Preforming spells and such bring a sort of peace to me, and they are used to bring good things to the world. Black magick has nothing to do with Wicca.

My Goddess (or God. Truly, I use them interchangably. Who is to say what sex he is?) is Libra, the Goddess of Balance. I believe everything is balanced. EVERYTHING. Nothing disturbs this balance. For everything good you see, there is something bad. For everything bad you see, there is something good. For every bad thing you do, you are punished and must to something good to makeup for it and restore balance inside you. For every good thing you do you are rewarded, and makes up for bad things you have done/inevitably will do. Light and Darkness aren't at war with one another. They are Sisters, both working in perfect harmony to keep our world working. Notice, Libra's simble is the scales. The world, and our lives, is balanced, like a set of scales. Too much good, and we tip over. Too much bad and we tip over. There must always be balance, or there is only chaos.

All people are equal; all people are equally good and bad. All people are essentially good, only influenced by the temptation of the devil. The only time we can be ourselves and be the basically good people we are is when admitted into heaven. I don't believe in a hell. If we are all made in God's image, why would we be evil? Why would God make a being that is all evil? No. We are balanced on earth. The only way Earth and Life can work is if there is Balance. When we die, we leave Earth and go somewhere else. We go to Heaven, where there doesn't need to be balance for it to work. There is only good. That is why our souls are perfect and pure. No one can ever taint his soul. If you do something bad, you are punished on Earth. Simple as that.

So, why aren't we all sitting around a table in Heaven right now? Why must we live on Earth before we go to Heaven? Well...ask God. I haven't died yet, so I don't know all the answers.

It is my theory that we are all on Earth to both learn a lesson and complete our mission. The mission we must complete in order to teach the lesson to others. The lesson is perhaps simply so that we become wiser.

So, if we are perfect, why does there need the be a God? Well, someone has to be in charge.

Your soul is a wonderful, perfect thing that will one day be accepted into Heaven. Dying isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it is natural. It's God saying you did your part. Heaven is the reward! I don't cry when people I know die, I didn't cry when my dad died. I was happy! And yes, people avoid me and call me crazy when I tell them I'm happy when people die. But it's true! They completed their mission and now get to go Home! How could I be sad about that? Sure, I don't get to see them anymore. But I will some day.

I am proud to be considered a Wiccan and a Pagan!  I don't care what anyone else believes. As long as your happy, believe what you will. I'm not out to convert people to what I believe, and I certainly don't wish to be converted to another religion.

Be proud in what you believe.

Recipe Sites

Recipes gallore! I am in a cooking frenzy! With birthday parties, multiple holidays (ah, the struggles of living in a home full of different religions...), school, and parties, I am constinantly in the kitchen now a days! I love it so much, though :) Cooking is so much fun! Lately, I have decided to keep a cook book full of favorite recipes I have collected. Here is a website with a few that I have tried and love! <3
http://www.magicspells.in/wiccan_recipes_for_samhain.htm
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/holidays/halloween/halloweenpartyrecipes_drinks_raspberryandrosepetalpunch
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/holidays/halloween/halloweenpartyrecipes_food_ricepuddingswithcaramelgalaapples
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/holidays/halloween/halloweenpartyrecipes_food_cookies_gingerbreadskeletons
http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/holidays/halloween/halloweenpartyrecipes_food_soup_greengruelwitheyeballs
http://www.catholichomeandgarden.com/all_saints_day_recipes.htm
http://elainefindlay.suite101.com/halloween-seed-cake-recipes-a144337
http://www.unc.edu/~reddeer/recipe/rec_imbolc.html
happy cooking! :)

All Hallows

The night of All Hallows is fast approaching, and I for one can’t wait! A night of pure magick! All Hallows is by far my favorite holiday! So you could easily imagine my shock when I learned that my fellow non-Wiccan friends had never even HEARD of All Hallows. I was appalled.

All Hallows is a holiday Pagans celebrate. It means something slightly different for each religion, but I am not going to go look up what All Hallows is to each and every one of them. Instead, I shall just explain why All Hallows is important for my religion, monotheistic Wicca.

All Hallows is on the 31^st of October. It is a wonderful, but serious holiday. It is a day for giving thanks to God for his protection and love. It is also a day for celebrating being a Wiccan. This is a time of reflection and coming to terms with the things in life we cannot control. It is a time to forgive and forget, as the saying goes. We must remember not to think ill of the people who judge us, hate us, or fear us due to our religion; those people are simply uneducated as to what Wicca really is, or are too afraid of the wrath of their God to accept us. Tis not their fault, they cannot be blamed for society’s hatred of the unknown.

On this night, the separation between the physical and spiritual realities is at its thinnest. The veil is semi-permeable, meaning demons are at their strongest and spirits can visit. Protection spells are wise, to protect oneself from demon influence and trickery. The spirits are granted one night a year to visit Earth and mingle with the living, and this day is All Hallows. They are given this day so that they can see both the wonders of life on Earth, and the horrors. It is another way by which God keeps us from falling after death, like the Devil did. The spirits cannot harm anyone; they are pure and innocent, they wish you no harm. The demons, whoever, can be very harmful. Demons are the Devil’s creations, and their influence can cause some nasty side effects.

All Hallows is in some ways a serious holiday, a time to remember dead loved ones and serious thinking about one’s life. But it is also a happy holiday, a time to embrace Wicca and magick! All Hallows is, in my opinion, the most magical and important holiday there is, (this is not to say the rest does not matter, of course!) if only for the fact that there is so much to celebrate and remember!

Generally, black is worn on All Hallows. Black is dramatic, committed, serious, mysterious, containing potentials. It is a colour that represents the power behind a Wiccan, our power to be proud of whom we are, even when surrounded by judgmental, prejudiced people! It shows how committed we are to our beliefs, and how serious we take them. It shows that we are a people never to be understood by another. Only a fellow Wiccan can ever understand how it feels to be a Wiccan; no amount of theological research will ever make another understand. It shows that we are forever learning and perfecting ourselves, delving deeper into our religion and increasing our understanding of the Universe, the Balance, and by doing this increasing our power to help the world.

Other common colours to be worn include purple (for self-esteem, spirituality, transformation, nobility, and enlightenment.), white (for purity, divinity, and simplicity), and red (for excitement, passion, vigor, and strength. It stimulates, warms, and cheers.)

All Hallows is also called Samhain, Feast of the Dead, Feast of Apples, and of course Halloween.

Stability

This spell is used for emotional and mental health and stability. The rose hip seed oil is for healing, the bay oil is for insomnia, and the light blue candle is for healing, happiness, and battling depression.
Rose hip seed oil
Bay oil
Light blue candle
Dress the candle in the oils. Burn the candle down. While dressing and lighting the candle, and really just as many times as you feel needed, chant:
Let health and happy reign my soul,
Let all good things be.
Let weak and sadness end their toul,
Let strengthen harmony!

Book of Shadows

I recently began making my own Book of Shadows, which is a type of journal filled with a Wiccan's beliefs, spells, rituals, thoughts, and life lessons. It is actualy rather fun to do! And very easy. I just picked up a big hardback journal book from Biglots and started writing! I jot down things I have learned, the meanings of certain things, useful spells, and stuff like that!
A lot of Wiccans keep there Book of Shadows online for the benefit of other Wiccans. Also, depending on you type of Wicca, the Book may be keep public becouse its a clan work. I chose to keep mine private. I don't know why, I just feel it's easier to pour myself into the book if it isn't read by others. Besides, Wicca is supposed to teach us how to find our own Truth. Reading mine may be useful, but it won't necessarily teach you how to find your own Truth.
Thats one of the reasons I made this blog. I want to contribute to the Wiccan world, but I don't want to make my Book of Shadows public. So this blog is a collection of things I wish to share!
I will share my Book one day. I will pass it on to my future daughter or son. If I do not have any children then I will give it to one of my reletives. Preferably a child of my brothers', or one of my brothers so that they may put it on the internet for all Wiccans to use. I know I must pass on what wisdom and knowledge I have learned on Earth, I feel it is my duty to do so. So one day this will happen.
I have only just start out, and I am already finding that it is likely that my Book of Shadows will be many books. There is just so much information! I am having fun putting it together though :)
Blessed Be,
Domina Atramentarius

Vegan

I am a strict vegan. This means no meat, no eggs, and no dairy. I am also lactose intolerant, so definatly no milk! I also prefer to eat foods that are gluten free, sugar free, fat free, low calerie, and high in good-for-you stuff! Yes, I am a real health nut. Nothing makes a person feel great like healthy food! A lot of people think it's complicated to eat healthy, or that you would be giving up taste, but that is not true! Here are a few recipes that are super good for you, and super tasty! (Well, some of them I havn't tried yet, but they sound good and I do plan on trying them!) Some of the recipes are from my own cook book, but some of the are from http://allrecipes.com/Recipes/healthy-recipes/gluten-free/main.aspx

Gluten-free peanut butter cookies, yummmyyy!! :D Eating nuts tends to make me feel a bit sick, sense they tend to be somethered in salt (I can't have much sodium, it makes me realy sick). And recently, I got braces. So no nuts for me! But I have always loved peanut butter cookies! Here is a great recipe for healthy peanut butter cookies, super tastey and a great way to get some energy and protein in the middle of the day!
2 cups organic peanut butter
2 cups organic rapadura (powdered sugar cane juice. its yummy, but you can use any subsitute for white sugar, substituting 2 cups)
1 cup mashed organic banana (or your chosen egg substitute, substituting 4eggs)
2 cups gluten-free, dairy-free, sugar-free, soy-free, vegan chocolate chips (http://thefrugallyrichlife.wordpress.com/2010/03/26/gf-gluten-free-dairy-free-sugar-free-vegan-homemade-frugal-chocolate-chips/) optional
1) preheat over to 350 degrees. grease cookie sheet
2) combine peanut butter, egg substitute, and sugar substitute and mix until smooth. mix in the chocolate chips, if desired. spoon dough by tablespoons onto cookie sheet (depending on what you use, the dough might be oily, but thats okay)
3) bake for 10-12 minutes, or until lightly browned. let the cookies cool for about 5-10 minutes before transfering to a dish. (depending on what you use, they may cook dramaticly faster/slower than 10-12 minutes! I recomend watching closely!)
This taste OMG SUPER YUMMYLICOUS!! I made a batch of them for a friends birthday party (she isn't a vegan btw), and didn't tell her they were so healthy. She is always avoiding my vegan meals, becouse she thinks vegan food is nasty. She tasted one, and immediatly fell in LOVE! When I told her they were vegan and gluten free (and dairy-free, mostly sugar-free and soy-free) she absolutely denied the possibility!

Florentine Artichoke Dip sounds realy good! I have never had it, but I love artichokes! http://allrecipes.com/recipe/florentine-artichoke-dip/detail.aspx Substitutions: make sure everything is organic, use vegenaise (http://www.followyourheart.com/) or some other mayo substitute, cream cheese substitute (http://veganbits.com/cream-cheese-alternative/), and cheese alternative (http://www.veganstore.com/product/960/vegan-cheese-and-dairy-alternatives)

By now your probably thinking "wow...that's a lot of trouble just for healthy food!" Well, fine, be that way. I could preach on and on about how wrong it is to harm animals, how icky it is to eat animal products, or even about how much more yummy these substitutes taste! But I won't. I only have 3 words that make it all worth while, and made my friend decide to become a vegan. 3 little words. 20. Inch. Waist. My cousin wore a size 4XL, switched to eating vegan, and now (1 year later, though I don't recall how fast she lost the weight) she has a 20 INCH WAIST. Trust me, the time and extra money is worth it!
Here are some more recipes, some I have had and realy love! Go to this sight (http://www.veganstore.com/category/vegan-food-items) to get ideas for substitutes, but they may not have every substitute. I trust you know what should be substituted (anything diary, meat, or egg)
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/amys-cilantro-cream-sauce/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/easy-guacamole/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Lemony-Quinoa/Detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/cranberry-sauce-ii/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/garlic-green-beans/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/roasted-garlic-mashed-potatoes/detail.aspx
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Gluten-Free-Ginger-Honey-Crunch/Detail.aspx (I made this for my brother has a snack while he was at ROTC camp, he LOVED it!)
Happy Eating! :D

Random Thoughts

Tolerance isn't exactly the word I am looking for...but I am not sure what that word is. This post sort of ties in with my post "Freedom!". I do not believe in judging people or their actions. I do not believe in judging religions either. I am not God, therefore I do NOT know all things. Who says I am right in my religion? It is not to be known until the day I die, if then.

This person puts it nicely, even though I do not necessarily agree with everything said:

"My name is D and I am a….hmm….well, that’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? I know that I have a lot of pagan in me, and I think I am moving in a witchy way. However, I have much deep respect and love for prophets/messiahs of other religions. I was raised Christian and a part of me will never lose my faith in Jesus. So how can I be pagan and Christian?

Darned if I know. Its just what happened, I guess.

Briefly, the way I look at the world is that God is great and mysterious and also not only male. The easiest way to view that is to break God into God and Godess. Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed and the rest were sent here by God/Goddess to help us find our way back to the original Source.

Now, because God and Goddess are infinte, our little human minds need to break them down farther, into a size that we can understand. Hence, the many pantheons of dieties, all with their own attributes and wisdom, but all generated from the same Source. That God/Goddess from which we as well, sparked off from.

So all Gods are one God, and my Goddess is the One as well. And all of us are chips of light from the same source.

Lately I feel a strong pull towards Goddess energy. I want to find a way to relate to the female spirituality that absolutely MUST be there (somewhere!), and in the process maybe learn a little about myself."

I think this is worded wonderfully! Again, I do not necessarily agree with all of it, but it is a great example of the level of tolerance one must have! And the parts about the break down of God is rather intriguing. Psychologically, it makes sense. This is probably were religion stemmed from, and that is how we came to believe what we believe. The problem in this break down is we forget the "All made up of one central God" part. We get to caught up in being right, and from there comes pain and hate.

The part about Jesus and the others being sent as messengers from God is valid. They are sent to us to teach us how to find the Truth. Other Gods and Goddesses that are worshipped (in many Pagan religions) are just names for natural things. Such as the Goddess of Air. People give thanks to them, instead of thanking the being who made them. I don't worship other Gods or Goddesses, just my God.

The first thing I posted outlined my beliefs. I mentioned that I do not believe in Magick, which is true. Than I started using the word magick a lot. Perhaps I should clear that up a bit. I do not believe in reading peoples future, or levitating people, or summoning ghosts, or anything silly like that. Those are scams. I do believe in Magick though. If you apply enough will power, concentration, and visualization to something, anything can happen. Magick is all around us! It is the things science can't explain. Sure, they have theories to how the universe formed. But they don't know WHY. They have theories about evolution, but they don't know WHY it ended up or started a certain way. They don't even know how cells made the jump from non living to living! It's all Magick! Magick is a word I use for the things God does and what God helps us do. We can preform Magick, though we will never be any were close to as powerful as God! It all just takes learning, practice, and mental strength.

Sex. It is fun and useful. (I am a virgin, so I am assuming it is fun. I wouldn't know, and I plan to keep it that way.) I do not think sex before marriage is bad. The church tells us this, and it has tied into society as a common belief, because it IS bad. For the simple reason that you could get pregnant! If you get pregnant and your not married, he could leave you and you would have to raise the kid by yourself. It's just not a good idea. Your not going to go to hell for it though...

Well, that's enough random thoughts for tonight!

Monotheistic Wiccan

I did some research, and finally came to terms with what I am. I am a monotheistic wiccan! It is a valid religion, and many follow it. I don't feel so alone any more! What it means is that I am a full Wiccan, who believes everything of the Wiccan belief, but I am monotheistic, meaning I believe in only one God or Goddess. Which I refer to as simply "God". If you wish to read more on this sort of thing, please go to http://www.religioustolerance.org/wic_intr.htm
It feels so great to know that I am not some freak now :) I felt what I believed was right, but I also felt kind of strange not knowing what it was. Now I know!
I AM A MONOTHEISTIC WICCAN! Woo :D

Freedom!

Recently, a friend of mine called me a witch. He said it as if it were a curse word, and told me I would go to hell for my beliefs. It made me upset, and I ended up crying for hours. He is…was my best friend, and it kills me to know that he would rather avoid and hate me than accept what I believe.

How can this be good? He claims he is doing what God teaches him. How is that true? Tell where it says in the bible that we are to judge people and hate them for not following us? That’s right, it doesn’t. And yet, it happens so very frequently.

In the bible, Jesus tells us to reject those that hold the keys to Heaven and do not enter and do not allow us to enter. He is telling us to reject the restrictions and rules that greedy power-hungry priests of older time put on Heaven. There are no restrictions, all are admitted.

I have been told that Wiccans and witches will be sent to Hell. That doesn’t make sense. Not only are we made in God’s image, therefor making our souls perfect and pure, but it also seems rather petty. Why would God be so petty and narrow-minded? He isn’t.

In history class, you learn about the Catholic Church and their many fights for power. They ruled the laws and lives of the people, persecuted those that didn’t follow their church, and even went to war against other religions! Tell me; where in the bible does it say to do THAT?? It doesn’t.

Christianity, and therefor baptism, is derived from the Catholic Church. Because of everything the Catholic Church has done, certain things have become common in religion that shouldn’t be. If you were to sit down and read the Bible, and not be afraid of who would tell you that you were wrong, and actually translate it for yourself, you would be surprised at how different it seems.

My grandmother used to tell me all the time, “The Bible is an ever changing book, it changes for each person that reads it and for each person it changes for what they need to hear.” At the time, I was about 4 or 5 and thought she meant the book literally changed what it said. Now I know that she meant the book reads different for every person, which is completely true.

A few months ago, before he found out about my religion and blew up, my friend invited me to go to his church. He was always trying to get me to go to church with him, and I was always declining. It was just weird for me. I couldn’t understand why I had to sit in a building and listen to a normal human, who is no godlier than I; tell me what the Bible is meant to say. It didn’t make sense, and it always made me feel bad afterward.

I believe you can worship God, on your own, in your own home. You don’t need to go to church. “Going to church makes you no more Christian than standing in a garage makes you a car”. This works both ways. A priest will tell you differently, I am sure. But it isn’t his/her fault; the restrictions of God’s love have been drilled into society for years. That doesn’t make it true or right. I don’t go to church, because I believe the ultimate and total truth is placed within your heart. You have to listen to the word of God on your own, and read it for what it is for you. It WILL NOT read the same for every person! We are NOT all the same, so why would it read the same for us all?

My friend was wrong, and he hurt me in what he did. I wish he could let go of the fear of persecution that has been drilled into his mind, and learn to find his own truth. This is what Jesus was telling everyone, that we must all let go of the teachings of our parents at some time and learn to find our own truth. The truth isn’t the same for every person.

God isn’t a closed minded, shallow, petty being, so why should we be?

Baby of Mine

Babies, one of Gods greater gifts! Sure, it takes a lot of hard work and pain to get them here, but they are so worth it. I personally do not have children, as I am 14 years old. But I have always loved children! I suppose it comes from having two little brothers and spending a great amount of time helping to raise them.
As a lot of girls my age, I do want children some day. And I know what I shall name them! I want two twin girls (I know, I know, 'Your just a kid! Your gonna change your mind when you actually grow up and deal with them!') named Jasmine Alain Garcia _____ and Juliet Elizabeth Lilieth ____. (The blanks are, of course, in place of the last names). Yes, my future children will have 2 middles names. I just really like the sound of them.
Bab's Breath, the flower to the left, is a symbol of everlasting love. It is a symbol of the psychiatric connection between a new bother and her new born child/children. (The flower for the connection between a mother and her unborn child is different, and a blog post for another day.) Baby's breath can be placed next to a burning virgin white candle for ease of labor and a healthy birth. (But the baby's breath should NOT be burned! Burning baby's breath can signify early death to newborns and extremely hard labor!) For this particular spell, place a virgin white candle on silver candle dish (real silver must be used, or something plain and white or silver looking. Clear glass can be used, but real silver is more powerful). Dress the candle with oil, in the proper manner (http://www.witchway.net/ritual/candle.html). (I find carrot and lavender oil used together to be recommended, but any oil will do.) Lightly carve your child's/childrens' initials into the candle stick (real silver intensifies magick, keep this in mind). Bath the babies breath in crystal clear water (water that has been bathed in moon light for an entire lunar cycle is most powerful, but not necessary), emerging it completely and swirling it around the bowl (light coloured wood desirable) counter clockwise 9 times. Place the baby's breath on the dish with the candle. Light the candle wick and let it burn all the way down. It is advised that the candle be watched in some fashion to be sure the baby's breath doesn't catch fire nor the candle tip over, but it is your choice.
Another spell, not involving candles, that you can do to protect your newborn child involves blending various oils for a desired affect. I recommend blending equal amounts of bay oil, black pepper oil, and cedar wood oil in a light wood bowl, 9 times counter clockwise. With the tips of the index and middle finger, dab a substantial amount at the wrists, between the brows, and over the chest of the young child. That particular oil blend is for protection against all negative energy forms, increased alertness and courage, and attraction of power pride beauty strength and prosperity. Different oils can be used, but be sure you know what the oils are meant to do (http://daughterofthemoon.wordpress.com/2008/07/13/essential-oilsmeanings-and-uses/). While blending and applying, will what you want to happen. The more will power, concentration, and mental visualization you use, the more powerful the spell. This spell is recommend to be done while the child is sleeping, and is more powerful if done by the mother or the mothering figure. (I used this spell on my brother when he was 3, and I do not know what the health risks of performing this on a newborn or infant would be. I would ask your doctor what harm these oils might do to a baby. A babies skin and over all healthy is very fragile, so take precautions, please!)
The same spell can be performed on a pregnant woman, for the benefit of the unborn child, with slight variations. Chose three oils (I didn't mention above, but three is ideal. Too many and the signals could get confused), and make sure you know what they are meant to do. Place a drop or two of one oil on your index finger, a drop or two of another oil on your middle finger, and so on. Do not blend the oils before hand. Place the finger tips on the belly of the pregnant woman, and move your hands 6 times in a counter clockwise motion to blend the oils. During the whole process, chant in your head (or out loud if you choose) what the desired result is. (For example, using bay, camphor, and citrus:"protection, harmony, psychic power...protection, harmony, psychic power...", you see my point? You want to chant the saying 6 times in time with the blending of oils). Remember, the more will power, concentration, and mental visualization used, the more powerful the spell. This spell is most powerful if done by the pregnant woman herself, or the unborn babies father.
One of the most important things to remember in performing Magick, is to follow your instincts. That gut feeling you get, yeah it's important. Listen to it! If you reach for citrus oil at the store, and your gut tells you to go for bay, guess what you should get? Yep, that's right, bay. The most pure and powerful form of Magick is in the soul, and your soul is where your instincts come from. So listen to your instincts, they tend to be right. (Truly, the only time my instincts have stirred me wrong would be if I was sick, distracted, or confused instincts with greed.)

Wearing baby's breath in the hair or near the heart sends positive energy to the wearers child/children, especially if the child/children is/are on the wearers mind.

Your Soal and Mine

Your soul is perfect, pure, and untainted. Inside you is the angel you will become when you die. I don't believe that any one person is bad, evil, or deserves to go to a "hell". I don't believe there is a hell. In the Bible it states that God made us in his immage. Okay, great, so why aren't we all sitting around a breakfast table in heaven listening to harp music and being, well...perfect? After all, God is perfect, right? Yes. So if we are made in his immage, why are we not perfect? Why does the Bible stress the point of our inability to be perfect here in Earth so much? It's becouse of the Devil's involvement. The Devil is a fallen angel. It is my theory that he was not the first fallen angel. I think God's angels started to loose value in there perfect immortality. They stopped being grateful for it, grew bored, and started messing around. Well, that certaintly couldn't keep happening! So God, being the all powerful God that he is, simply destroyed all the fallen Angels. That's not cruel, it makes sense. It's like qurenting flu patients from healthy patients so it doesn't spread. But it did spread. So God had a better idea. He sent one of the fallen Angels, Satin, to a place under that Earth, a place opposite to Heaven. Than God made the Earth, and sent all the good angels down to earth. He created bodies for them, and allowed Earth to be a sort of middle ground between Heaven and Earth. There, Satin and his demons could make bad things happen and screw with the humans. God would always make sure that life was balanced out, otherwise he would be being cruel unstead of teaching a lesson.
Every Bible story tells us the same thing, that when bad things happen it's becouse of Satin. You stopped listening to God and listened to Satin. These stories build up a hatred to Satin and a never ending love to God, while also building up the strength in your faith. These stories also tell you theres a reason for everything. Theres a greater picture we all fall into. That's true. It is my theory that we are all on Earth to both learn a lesson and complete our mission. The mission we must complete in order to teach the lesson to others. The lesson is so that when we are accepted back into heaven, we are never tempted to become fallen angels.
Perhaps every thousand years or so God makes us repeat our lesson, so that it sticks in our minds. We may be perfect, we may have been made in Gods immage, but the Bible makes it clear that there is a reason why he is God and we are the Angels. He teaches, loves, takes care of, and heards us.
As to hell? Well, there can't be one. To have a hell would mean that God made an evil human. To have a truely evil human, you would have to have a truely evil Angel. Why would God send a fallen Angel down to Earth? He wouldn't. The point of Earth, in my theory, is that this is our lesson to learn. Teenagers a sent to highschool, most of them dislike it, but when they graduate they have learned many things. (Yes, even the slackers. No matter how immune you think you are to learning, it's still shoved inside your skull every single day. Sometimes you just don't notice it.)
But what if the Angel falls while on Earth? Can't happen. God balances all things. Life and Death, happiness and sorrow, good and bad, and everything in your soul. There is no truely bad person on Earth. Satin is meant to make us do bad things, and yes we can try to ignore him and focus on God. But we will always sin and do bad things. Illness is bad, and Satin gives it to us. The mentaly ill sociopath psychotic killer has done many many bad things. A lot of people, my close friends included, would say that that person is most certaintly going to hell. Well, no. Satin made the person do those things, and God allowed it becouse it had to happen. For everone to learn there lesson on Earth, bad things must happen. For bad things to happen, peoples must do bad things. But there are no bad people.
Remember back when I said everyone has a mission? And that you have to accomplish it? Well, that psychotic killer I was mentioning, he completed his mission. His mission was to be a psychotic serial killer and kill a lot of people (in my example). The mission doesn't allways apear to be fair or right or good, but it still has to be done. And most of the time, the people who's mission it is to do bad things, don't know there doing it. Or don't know it's wrong. Or...well, you get my point. They didn't just wake up one morning and decide it was there job to kill. They just did it.
What about dying babies and children? They didn't do anything? Sure they did. They died. If you give birth to a child and it dies in a matter of seconds, than there mission was most likely to die. Otherwise, God wouldn't have allowed them to die.
"How can there be a perfect heaven? My idea of perfect is different from yours!" No it's not. Here on Earth you can't immagine there being one place where everyone thinks it's perfect. But than again, you don't know what your true soul is like. I like mint chocolate ice cream, horror movies, and snuggling up with my (at the moment non existant...) boyfriend. My friend Shayne likes rasberry cheesecake falvoured ice cream, sappy chick flicks, and having an inteligent convirsation with (my ex boyfriend...) her boyfriend. How can she and I posably agree on whats perfect? Well, when we die and go to heaven, I guess we will see.
Suicide. I believe it is horrible and sad and I will always try to pervent it. My friend Jason has tried it, I have tried it, and my baby brother has. Lets face it, this world is hard! It's sad and cruel and sometimes just to much to handle! But don't give it up. God won't let you die until your mission is completed. Therefore, I will always try to pervent someone from killing themselves (I wouldn't be able to NOT help). If it is your mission to committe suicide, I will (and realy, EVERYBODY should) try to stop you. It it is your mission, God will make it happen. But I'm not going to play God and try to judge if I should leave it be or not. It's not my place to decide if someone needs helping or not. It's just my job to help.
Your soul is a wonderful, perfect thing that will one day be exepted into Heaven. Dying isn't a punishment for doing something wrong, it isn't natural. It's God saying you did your part. Heaven is the reward! I don't cry when people I know die, I didn't cry when my dad died. I was happy! And yes, people avoid me and call me crazy when I tell them I'm happy when people die. But it's true! They completed there mission and now get to go Home! How could I be sad about that?

Heart Code

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvO493hJ_78
I am a giver, and always have been. I can honestly say I would risk my own life, without hesitation, to save a stranger. I can say this because I have done it. I was at the beach (specifics left out do to rights of people involved) on one instance. The palm trees and grass covered sand dunes across from the camper my family and I were staying in caught on fire. It was raging and catching by the time we were woken up, at 5 in the morning. In my families haste to get away from the fire, they didn't notice the small child walking towards the flames. (Backround info: we were staying in a large campground. The child must have been from one of the other camper families, perhaps forgotten in the haste?) The child, male, couldn't have been more than 6 or 7 years old, and very obviously was enthralled by the lights. Without hesitation, I ran to the child, picked him up, and starting running in the opposite direction. For me to get that close to the flames was incredibly dangerous, and it made me very sick. (I should have gone to the hospital, but...I don't like hospitals and modern medicine) I have asthma and my PTSD is directly linked to fire and smoke (and yes, I did have a nervous breakdown and pass out a few hours later). To get the child, I breathed in a lot of smoke. I managed to catch up to my family, who were all standing a safe distance from the flames, before I dropped the child and collapsed. I couldn't breath, my vision was swimming, and I felt cold all over. I know it must have done something to my lungs or something, but I wouldn't let the paramedics touch me. The child was unharmed, thank God! He fell asleep while I was carrying him away from the flames, and didn't seem upset by anything when he was woken up.
Why am I telling you this, you ask? It isn't so I can look like a heroin, because I am not. I don't have an ounce of courage in me. And once I was certain the child was going to be okay, I left him with the paramedics and bolted. I didn't want the gratitude that would come when the mother would see me. When I see someone who is in distress, pain, sickness, ANYTHING negative, I have to help. I absolutely have no physical or mental choice, it is my instinct. I spend my days counseling my friends and family, studying psychology on my own (I actually plan to receive my PhD in Social Psychology, though I have yet to decide what I will do with it), and making sure I know anything that could help me help someone else. I don't hold much value for my own life, though I am most certainly not depressed. I simply hold a rather unhealthy level of obsession in helping all other living creatures.
A common question that I am asked: if a stranger and your brother were both drowning, who would I save? Well, that's easy. I would try to save both, starting first with whoever my instincts told me to save (which wouldn't necessarily be my brother). And even if it looked like I couldn't save the other person, or I would drown if I tried, I would still try. I can't swim, so most likely I would die trying to save the first person. But I would rather die trying (see that nice little reference back to the link? Yeah, I know, genius! Ha-ha) than live knowing I chose my life over another human beings.
How can I do this, you ask? Easy. I believe every person is alive for a reason. We have a mission here that we must accomplish. I believe my mission is to help people. I love to do it, I feel a certain need to do it, and I feel like I did something right when I try to do all I can for everyone. I could be wrong, but why be negative? I love helping people, and I will continue risking it all to complete this mission. If I die trying to save someone else, than I died completing my mission. If I chose my life, sanity, and health over theirs, than I am telling God I have not learned my lesson on Earth yet and am not ready to be excepted into his Home.
What do I mean, you ask? Whats my point? Your mission is the key. My friend Jason asks me repeatedly, "why am I not happy?", and I always tell him the same thing, "your not happy because your not on the right track". He hasn't realized his reason for being here, he isn't doing what he is supposed to do to fulfill his mission, something in his life if just off. The easiest way to fix this? Read the Bible, do yoga, go sit on a mountain at night, stare up at the stars, pray, paint, write in a journal, there are countless ways to learn what your purpose is. The question is already answered in your heart, you just have to learn to listen. And the only way to do that is to do things that delve deep into your soul and reveal who you really are.
If you feel like your in a rut, down on luck, or nothing seems to go good for you, listen to what I am telling you. You must find your purpose! Once you do that, all you have to do is do it! My purpose is helping others, so I do that all the time. I make it my life. If you do that, if you bring that one little foot back onto the right track, the rest of you will follow. You will see yourself beginning to realize things about yourself that you didn't know before. I realized my purpose in life, I made it my life, and I am happy! I realized the religion for me, I realized that I am a vegan at heart, I started taking better care of myself, and the world just looks so much brighter and happier than it used to! I have the energy and the spunk to do what I couldn't before, and all because I found my calling.

A Pink Carnation

A pink carnation, the symble for a mother's undying love. A mother's love is one that no other human being that can give, for they will never have the connection you have with your mother. I know, I know; "But I don't have a mom!" It doesn't matter. The connection you have is in your blood and in your soal, and no foster/step/gaurdian/or -inlaw can duplicate it. I don't have a great mom either. I live with my grandparents. My mother was a druggy and an alcoholic; she did a lot of bad things. I am the eldest of her three children (my brothers: Edward 13 and Joseph 10), and therefore felt it was my job to protect her name. My aunt and grandparents, and truely anyone that knew her, had SUCH a tendincy to speak badly of her. I never could understand why they would speak of her this way, there own blood. I felt sorry for her. I felt that, in some way, she had to be doing something good.
When I turned 13 and she sent a card saying "Happy 10th Birthday" a month late, I gave up on her. I finaly saw the worthless druggy/alcoholic waste of space that everyone else saw. I refused to speak to her or about her, I refused to acknolodge her existance, I basicly disowned her as my mother and a fellow human being. I truely hated her.
But than she got in a realy bad car accident. She was in a car with a man (the driver) and another AA friend. They had just gotten back from getting smoothies.Another car rammed into them. The driver didn't get a scratch on him, but was either going into shock or was just plain a coward becouse he wouldn't help my mom and her friend. The friend was sitting in front of my mom, and she was going into a seizure. My mom was a former nurse, so she knew what to do. She did she had been trained to do, probably saving the womens life. All the while, my mom was loosing a lot of blood. She almost died of blood loss by the time the rescue people got there. They had to cut her and the friend out of the car, but the driver walked out. This made me very mad, becouse they soon after found out he was drunk.While my mom was in the hospital, she refused all pain medication. She knew she would get hooked, so she didn't want any. She was lying on her death bed, and still stayed strong, resisting the pain.She almost died.
I realized than that I could never run out of second chances. I could never give up on her, or anyone else. I could never stop giving away my love, for that was the ultimate crime. My mother has taught me many things by doing all those bad things:
*LOVE everyone and everything, no matter what happens
*DRUGS don't hurt just you, they hurt the people that have to watch you die slowly
*PUSH ON through life, couse you can survive anything
*YOU are not better than ANYONE else, and EVERYONE is worth your help
*BAD things happen, focussing on them will restrain you from seeing the GOOD things
*GOD doesn't deserve your blame, YOU screwed up. Fix it yourself.
This is a poem my mom wrote that I found today:

THIS IS ME: A Rewinding Tape

This is me too many things I’ve

                seen,

For a time from drugs and alcohol

                I was clean.

Right now I feel like a tornado that

                Destroys everything in its path,

Most people have never felt my

                Wrath.

I can be a force to be reckoned

                With,

Showing fake emotions that are

                So stiff.

Life isn’t fun my heart is damaged

                Beyond repair,

Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

Loosing everything doesn’t really

                Matter at all,

What you ask created my downward

                Fall.

Three children I love so dear,

Hurting them was my greatest

                Fear.

No one can save me I just don’t

                Think so,

Too far gone my demons they do

                Not know.

Time is very precious no one can

                Seem to spare,

True friends always at your side

                Are rare.

Looking at the sky I wonder

                When will it all end,

Does God know will an angel

                For me he send?

Why do people say they understand,

Their words are just plain bland.

How can you know what I’m

                Going through,

I am me not you.

Can’t you see I’m slowly dying

                Inside,

Begging God for a way out many

                Times I’ve cried.

It’s too late for me there’s no

                Escape,

Memories haunt me everyday like

                A rewinding tape.

“Dedicated to: my family who thought I was an unfit Mother”